People Watch

Over the last two years, I have been watching people as much as they are watching me. Each experience is unique. I am going to share a few noteworthy ones here. This is not about any individual. I am going to write in general terms. 

English people are reserved. This is what an average Indian would think. Well, to a point that is true. They respect others' privacy, but also expect others to respect theirs. They are quite "closed" when it comes to sharing facts about themselves. They will merrily chat with you on general topics, happily share jokes, recipes, dressing ideas, movies, travel, etc. But ask them something about their own life, and most will think this is an invasion of their privacy. They will likely clam up or distract you and divert the conversation to another topic that they are comfortable talking about. 

English people are gregarious. This is not something Indians would think they are. And yet, put some beer or whisky into them, and they become charmers. I have been to parties where I have seen absolutely sober English men and women turn into party animals within a few hours. I think we all know what alcohol does to us. So, no, it isn't surprising. And yet, it does make one go wide-eyed and so on when one sees their serious colleagues turn into someone so different - so gregarious and so entertaining!

English people are punctual. It is true to a fault. My duty at the hospital begins at half past eight when I join my colleagues in the department's doctors' room for a morning brief. I am sometimes early, but on most days, I reach about 4-5 minutes late. Almost everyone else, but especially the English male and female doctors are already there when I reach and the briefing has already begun. It is embarrassing, of course. However, this is something I have to live with. I do wake up at half past six and my home is a 10-minute walk from the department, so I have no excuse. It's just that I get caught up doing something or the other, and before I realise it, it is 25 minutes past eight before I leave my home!

English people are extremely polite. This is because this is how they are brought up. One of the fifth year medical students I have worked with is so, so polite that I would make a huge pile of money if she gave me a pound for each time she said "sorry", "thank you" and "excuse me" in the course of a day. People who know this student must be nodding their heads as they read this! I have, however, also found that the English are masters of irony and tongue-in-cheek. They can be harsh critics if you are wrong but will put it across with so much tact that it will be difficult for you to understand that they are, in fact, saying something negative about you. They will never openly talk negatively. 

Whenever a nurse has reservations about my treatment plan, they will voice it in a smooth way that is meant to not offend you. Using phrases like "I wonder if we might not do this in this way" or "Could we look up the book before giving this medicine in this dose" - is second nature to them. If they find me reluctant to change - because, as a doctor, I think I am right - then, they will go over my head to the consultant and get the treatment ratified or overruled. 

English people are racist. No, they aren't. People from India might have this opinion, but no, they are not racist. This is because, from among the top white countries of the world, England is among the best when it comes to a multi-racial society. Look at their cricket team or their football team, and you will understand what I mean. Oh, there are pockets of the country where you will meet radical-minded racists, but they are in a tiny minority and likely to be charged and arrested if they overtly express their racism. On the whole, there may be a tiny shred of internal feeling of prejudice against the darker-skinned population from south Asia or Africa, but usually, I have seen English people treat these people in the same way they would treat the Caucasian or the white Oriental people of the world. 

Dear Reader, what do you think of the above post? Do you agree or disagree. Do share your own experiences. 

Taher

UK Life: Completed 2 years. What's next?

My readers, I can see the surprise in your eyes. How is it that Taher has suddenly found the inspiration to write every day? I must say, the surprise is not yours alone! I am equally flummoxed by this energy that draws me back to the blog every day and makes my fingers fly on the keyboard! 

In my previous POST, I explored social relations and my attempt to mingle with the British. I want to explore this further, and in this post, I am going to write a bit more about how I overcame distinct communication problems that I faced in this country over the last two days. 

Indians are less prude and more open in their conversations on topics that the British shy away from, taking refuge in their need for privacy. For example, if I was travelling on a train in India, I would make friends with my co-passengers just as I do here in the U.K. People here are very friendly as well. However, questions that we take for granted as being our right to ask are a complete no-no in the U.K. 

These are some examples:

1. How old are you?
2. Are you married?
3. Which ethnic population or native country are you from?
4. Is this your husband/wife?
5. Where exactly do you live?

And so on. Such questions are a common part of the social intercourse in India, wouldn't you agree? Most Indians will ask at least 3-4 of the above questions within 10 minutes of chatting with someone, especially if this is on a train or bus journey, for example. In the U.K. people stick to talking about the weather and general stuff. Politics and sports are welcome to discuss; likewise, films, theater, TV shows, personalities, etc. Family is private, Your age, sex, sexual preferences, ethnicity, etc. is private. You can dress any way you like, and it is impolite to stare at someone because they are, for example, in a dress that reveals everything rather than cover it. 

Social hugging is almost universal. Kissing cheeks is acceptable to most people. 

Passing any comments that refer to any personal stuff including religious beliefs, dress habits, weight, height, skin colour, etc. is anathema. No one cares if someone is walking around with their fly open or their hair in a dishevelled state. An Indian colleague of mine thinks British people are universally autistic. They avoid eye contact, stay immersed in what they are doing, do not look up much to take in the people around them, pay little attention to disturbances around them and talk very little. 

I must say, this is almost true! I invite readers to read the comment made by my friend Holly Jahangiri in the post previous to this. She is very astute. A little reserved, I daresay, for a liberal American. But then, who am I to judge her? She will, of course, be annoyed that I have prejudged her. Hence, I will eagerly and sincerely apologise to you, dear -uh oh- not dear - Holly. 

If you liked this blog post, do interact with your comments on the blog just below the post. Thanks. Do keep visiting. Why don't you sign up to follow the blog? 

UK Life - Two years on, part 2

In my last post, I wrote about my progress in this country, the United Kingdom, since I moved here to work, which was on or around the 16th of November in 2015. That post was about my professional progress, my personal stuff and so on. 

In this post, I am going to mention my social advancement. I have made hundreds of new acquaintances; many of these have slowly grown into friendships, although I do admit that very few have led to household-friendliness. I have had my friends bring me or send me Christmas and festival cards, buy me a cup of coffee, help me do stuff I find difficulties doing, and sending me glowing testimonials about my work. I have been invited only once by a parent of a child I treated - but I did not go as I wasn't free that afternoon. I made an acquaintance with a patient's grandfather that led to membership in a local Indian cultural group that I am proud to be a part of. I made a lot of birding friends, but lack of time has led many of those friends to fall by the wayside. The one person I am still friends with - and whom I do meet from time to time - is very dear to me as he took me on a lovely birding trip to a local area. 

Among doctors, I must mention some of my doctor colleagues whom I really treasure the friendship with. They include many who were only in Blackpool for a short while of about 4-6 months as they did a stint here before moving to do posts elsewhere. I should also include several doctors I met and still meet when I do locum jobs in other trusts. There are agency workers with whom I have a very good relationship. They are my friends on social media and we do wish each other on our significant days. 

My well-wishers and admirers include domestic staff, nurses, doctors, dieticians, ward assistants, administrative staff and patient parents in the hospital. Outside the hospital, I have similar people at places I frequent, including coffee shops, restaurants, hobby shops, retail stores and so on. There are at least 3 workers at the Blackpool North railway station who always nod/doff their hats/ acknowledge me; one of them trusts me completely and waives his right to even check my ticket on my way to boarding the train.

I have to say this: people from India think the British are tight-lipped and do not freely interact with others. My experience in this regard has been totally uplifting. I do think though that there are certain boundaries we should never cross. The Brits are very open-hearted if you stay within those bounds. For example, there is a polite way to hug that would be completely wrong in India, but very acceptable in the U.K. You could end up hugging someone within minutes of meeting them - and it would still be socially acceptable. A mother of a sick child once spontaneously rose off her chair and hugged me with gratitude at a hospital I had gone to do a one-off duty in - in almost total darkness at 02:00 a.m. when I went in to review her child! Only today, I was with my consultant, when a female colleague I had worked with a year ago came to visit the Paediatric ward for something else - and she came over to us and gave me a friendly hug in front of my consultant. 

To be honest, as a married male, I am not allowed to do the same to a woman - and this can be quite unnerving and unsettling - as I was warned by my educational supervisor on one occasion when I reached out to go close to a co-worker of the opposite sex. This is where I have occasionally foundered and worried, but things are improving as I am getting used to the culture of this country. 

As I cook my own food and take it to the hospital every day, I have found many admirers who marvel at the smell of the food I open at lunchtime and heat in the microwave. I was pleasantly surprised when I met a GP for the first time at a social function - tells me he has heard about my culinary skills! When I asked him how he had known about this, he told me one of his GP trainees who had once worked with me in the hospital had told him about this! 

There is so much to talk about but I will end this post for now. If you know me in the U.K. and are reading this and know I am talking about you, do smile. Readers, please comment. Thanks. 

UK Life, Two years on.

I completed two years of my work/stay in the UK on the 16th of November last year. Nearly two more months have elapsed. It is time to take stock of where I am, what I am doing, and what my future plans will likely be.

Let me begin with the good news. I am moving on to become a full registrar at Blackpool from coming March. The progress my consultants have seen in me and my work have finally convinced them that I am safe to be a full-time registrar and manage the department on my own. Thus, instead of working 40 hours per week, I will be on the full rota. This will mean that my locuming days will probably get reduced drastically. However, it will also mean that I WON'T need to work elsewhere, as my emergency hours work will get me extra income from within my own trust. 

This has been a very satisfying bit of news. I have the most extensive experience as a Paediatrician - even more in the number of years I have worked as a children's doctor than most of the consultants I am working under. However, thanks to my complete inexperience with the working requirements of the NHS, I was unable to inspire, so far, the confidence that I can manage patients on my own - until now. Come March, things will change, I hope.

How has life been? I could have had better life had I seized all the opportunities at my disposal and used them optimally. However, to be fair, I have tried to live a balanced life; this has meant that while I have worked very hard to earn the maximum possible money and experience, I have also enjoyed on those weekends when I haven't worked but roamed around the countryside, or within Blackpool, or even visited more distant landmarks within the country. The farthest I have ever been on my own is the Peak District National Park, the nearest, the Marton Mere Nature Reserve. I have undertaken many different railway-bus-car-on-foot journeys, some of which are definitely worth repeating.

I have taken up new hobbies such as learning to play the keyboard and learning how to colour pictures with a pencil colour set. I have persisted with my old hobbies such as cooking, travelling, birding and bird photography and a bit of writing and a lot of reading. 

The arrival of Sky TV/Telephone and Network changed a lot in my life. I now record a lot of programs, look up things I have missed and catch up with those, rewatch a few programs that I recorded earlier, and so on. I also purchased the mid-range New Amazon Echo, and with it, I am now able to listen to old, golden songs from the super singing sensations of the yesteryears, such as Mohammed Rafi, Kishore Kumar, Lata Mangeshikar, Asha Bhosale, and many others. 

In the UK, I have also made a lot of new friends. More about this in my next post. 

Thanks for reading. 

Dr Taher

Deaths and Life

Life and death are illusions. We are in a constant state of transformation.     

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (Mexican Film Director, 1963- )

Life and Death

Life and death come in a never-ending cycle. After my mother passed away in September last year, I have had some time to think about mortality. I have a notion that the Supreme Being does not want me to witness the death of my loved ones. When my dad passed away in October 2012, I was in Saudi Arabia. I was to appear for the first of the three exams that would lead to my British qualification of MRCPCH. This exam was at Jeddah on the 8th of October. My dad passed away on the 6th. It was ultimate sadness for me to stay back for the exam and THEN travel to India to meet my family and console them/be consoled by them. 

When my mom (Shirin S Savliwala) passed away, I was in the U.K. Her death probably took away the torture she was undergoing for the past month and a half as she had a severe deterioration in August. Fortunately, it may be supposed, I was able to go to meet her for a few days that time; however, when her end came, I could not be there in time for her last rites. 

When I did visit India in mid-September, she had been buried for over 10 days. Even so, I was able to visit her grave and pay my last respects to her. She has left behind over 45 years of memories for me. She married my father when my biological mom passed away in 1971 of breast cancer. She was the real mom to me, although she wasn't my birth mom, as she reared me right from my primary school years to where I am today. May her soul rest in peace.

When you talk of death, can birth or life be far behind? The miracle of life is all around us. I have a small succulent plant that I purchased from a local store a few months ago. It hardly needs watering. I noticed, around mid-October, that it had sprung a whole new stem from the top of it. Now, several new leaves have risen in a rosette around this new stem.

Babies are born at the hospital where I work with near-clockwork regularity. Thousands of babies are born everywhere in the world, with a near 350,000 born globally in a 24-hour interval. Add to this the number of other life forms and we are talking of millions of new organisms, plants and animals every single day of our life. And then, I think: Hmm. So, regardless of lives lost, the planet keeps forming new life at a pace faster than it extinguishes its previous citizens. 

That is the hope that keeps us going. 

What do you think about this issue? Do you think death is a limitation on our race or a kind of selection that makes the species stronger? Do reply in the comments section.

May I also ask you to visit the blog of one of my very good friends who stays at Houston, Texas. Please read her blog HERE.